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Ahh, the silence...
Nov. 23rd, 2005 01:18 pmTis lovely, this silence that settles over a dorm on a holiday. No one in the suite but me and my music. I will only be here a couple more hours, alas, but I am enjoying it while it lasts.
I stayed last night to go out on a date. He took me to El Rodeo and Global Village and then we went back to my room and ended up making out on my bed. His hand on my waist and his tongue in my mouth and his fingers in my hair and his body on top of mine and... it's so amazing to have him there, to have someone real instead of the endless ghosts of my imagination. They torture me, those ghosts, with invisible hands and faceless spectres and give just enough to lead me on and then disappear and leave me utterly alone. Maybe that was why I didn't object when he stopped and apologised that he shouldn't have kissed me, that everything we had talked about on the camping trip was still true. He held me for a while after that, which was more than the ghosts do. But in the end he was gone as well.
And so I move on, home for thanksgiving and then back for finals. I wrote 30 pages of essays this weekend and there are around 24 more that will have to get done in the next couple of weeks. I'm going to have written a fucking novel on these subjects by the time the semester is up. I wonder if that would count for that NanoRhymo thing. Probably not. And I already have the novel I'm working on, hopefully I'll get another chapter of that done this weekend. And all the Spanish and Poly Sci stuff I've been putting off, as well as the essays. Ick, I can't wait for the semester to be over with.
I stayed last night to go out on a date. He took me to El Rodeo and Global Village and then we went back to my room and ended up making out on my bed. His hand on my waist and his tongue in my mouth and his fingers in my hair and his body on top of mine and... it's so amazing to have him there, to have someone real instead of the endless ghosts of my imagination. They torture me, those ghosts, with invisible hands and faceless spectres and give just enough to lead me on and then disappear and leave me utterly alone. Maybe that was why I didn't object when he stopped and apologised that he shouldn't have kissed me, that everything we had talked about on the camping trip was still true. He held me for a while after that, which was more than the ghosts do. But in the end he was gone as well.
And so I move on, home for thanksgiving and then back for finals. I wrote 30 pages of essays this weekend and there are around 24 more that will have to get done in the next couple of weeks. I'm going to have written a fucking novel on these subjects by the time the semester is up. I wonder if that would count for that NanoRhymo thing. Probably not. And I already have the novel I'm working on, hopefully I'll get another chapter of that done this weekend. And all the Spanish and Poly Sci stuff I've been putting off, as well as the essays. Ick, I can't wait for the semester to be over with.
