Uncertainties

I despise not knowing what I am doing. I have two and a half weeks of classes/exams left and I still don't know what I am doing this summer. This is unacceptable. It is also the last time I ever apply for anything for a summer that involves a substantial waiting period without some certainty of getting the position. That's the thing though, I thought I was a strong enough candidate that I wouldn't have to worry about this, that I would get into at least one of the 10 internships I applied for. I'm down to one and they're deciding "any day now." I thought it would be easy to get a job somewhere on campus, that the educational units would need a student just for the summer or a professor would want summer help. That's not happening either. I have a few more strings to pull, but they're long shots since it involves professors I've met once or not at all. And I can't realistically do honors research this summer, not with being in Ecuador this fall and having to make some money as a result of that. Not unless I get the DHS scholarship. I thought I was a strong candidate for that one, and I certainly put more effort into the application than anything I've done since I applied to the Jeffersons, or perhaps Governor's School.

Got to be positive, something will come up, it will all work out, someone will see you for what you are and give you the chance you need. You have a personal connection to the Aquarium internship and Grandma is down there this week, her name and your merits will be the boost you need to get in there. Your interest in Epidemiology makes you stand out from the applicants for the DHS and spread of disease is certainly both an important area and one lacking people to work in. You put a lot of effort into that application, it will show. It will work out.

Can optimism coexist with fear?